Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Wanna Get Away?

Well if you do, I suggest you don’t fly American Airlines. Those idiots just announced that they will be charging their passengers for all checked bags beginning with all tickets purchased after June 15, 2008.

“Stick em up seeee! This is a robbery seeee!” (You have to say that out loud and make that funny voice when you do it.)

I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of being fleeced, robbed and pilfered. Did you hear what I said? I said I’m tired of the larceny!

So American Airlines doesn’t want me to bring my bags on the plane for free eh? Well, that sounds like we should all fly Southwest and Jet Blue right? Oh, here’s a good one…how about we fly Virgin America? Still has the word America in it; and (for now) they aren’t gonna charge me to pack my underwear. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want those nimrods that work for the TSA rummaging through my drawers when they search the carry-on luggage. Victoria calls them $hits secrets for a reason - especially on the trip home. (Think about it and get back to me.)

Please stop and think people. The longer you allow these companies to pull stupidity like this, they will continue. An extra $15.00 for the first piece of luggage and $25.00 for each piece thereafter is ludicrous. Now Delta isn’t far behind, but at least they give you one checked bag for free. Still a rip-off, but that’s more like a burglary versus a home-invasion.

First they cut the free food and now this? I want my complimentary chicken or steak back. Well, maybe not the chicken cause there is something in the chicken that spells bad news for Black folks. I don’t know what it is, but I have some people investigating and I’ll get back to you on their findings. Nevertheless, I want my free eats after I just paid you $500 for a ride to Newark. Nah, maybe not Newark. I really like Baltimore - and NOT just because of The Wire. Well, kinda, but not just because of it...okay moving on.

It is up to us to stop the f*cking madness. BOYCOTT! And, while we’re at it, we should boycott all business establishments that make you pay for valet parking – tip included. If they want your business, they will find a place to put your vehicle. I’m blaming you dammit! You all are allowing the shenanigans to continue. If the restaurant Paco’s Neck Bones and Waffles makes you pay $6.50 to valet your car, honestly, you don’t need to eat there. (Notice I called it Paco’s cause he cooks everything in America these days – but, I digress.)

All WE have to do is go restaurant by restaurant, airlines by airlines and believe me, they will stop with the hoodwinking. You’re probably wondering why I’m writing this even though you think that I know my efforts are futile. Well, I do know that, kinda, but I just want to have it written somewhere so I can meet you in the afterlife and tell you, “See, I was right…”

Yeah sure, it’s a catch twenty two. If you boycott American Airlines and then they say they are going under, they will just be bought up by United so the train that headed down the track of an airline monopoly will pick up steam. At least if you boycott though, you can get a little satisfaction in the meantime.

Even with the extra $15.00 for even the first checked bag, American Airlines still says it needs to layoff 12 percent of its workforce. I wonder if they are factoring in the baggage handlers and skycaps that will lose their jobs when people stop checking their bags. Or, are they just an added bonus bunch to be laid off? (You know n-e-grows will start wearing 3 days worth of clothes at once to keep from checking a bag.) Hey, this is aimed at ya peeps so take heed. You know that WE are the skycaps and the baggage handlers of America. We got those jobs down to a science like doing security. But have no fear, pretty soon all of those jobs will require you to speak Spanish and we’ll be out like Project Runway.

Speaking of the runway, American Airlines also plans to cut routes and retire or “park” some of their airplanes at a desert storage facility. Ummm, excuse me but, when you “park” an airplane in the desert, is it safe to just start that b*tch up again and go flying? Do you replace the carburetors and stuff before you welcome me aboard?

I …. Must …. Stop ….writing now….I am starting to hear voices….
What are the voices saying you ask? Well, in betwixt the clanking chains I am also hearing, the voices are telling me to BOYCOTT!!!!!!!!!!

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