From the "WHY LORD, WHY?" Files

March 6th was Election Day in some parts of the world, but I'm sure many of you didn't vote. Okay, this time I will admit, I didn't vote either; but probably not for the same reasons your lazy arses didn't hit the polls.

No, I didn't vote because the day before I was scheduled to go and cast my ballot, I received the following Negro solicitation in the mail:

For a brief moment to several of the same, I was puzzled and perplexed by the severity of the wrong depicted in that photo. If you don't live in Los Angeles you probably don't know or don't care that the former Los Angeles Police Chief, Bernard Parks, is now a City Councilman. Now I believe Mr. Parks is all kinds of wrong for many of the things he did as Chief of Police and also for many of the things he has done since dummies voted him into the City Council. Nevertheless, some of the things he's done in the past, pail in comparison to him taking this portrait of a masterpiece.

Go on, take a closer look and be dazzled. The lady pictured on the immediate left of Mr. Parks appears to be well put together. But that's where my compliments must stop. There's a guy in the back on the left side that looks like he's on his way home from robbing a credit union. The lady to the far left in the pink has something hanging out of her pocket. Could be keys, could be a crack pipe, it's just to early to tell. I'm really mad that they had the elderly lady on the right pose in that "outfit". I really don't have the right words to say about that situation except to say that the $5 dollars they paid her to take the picture certainly wadden worth it. Yeah, I said, "wadden." I'm also somewhat confused that there is only one Mexican in the picture. If you live in LA, you know what I mean.

And so finally...we come to the point of no return. The leather and raccoon fur ensemble and the woman who said "fuc* it" and put it on her person. I don't know if you can see her shoes, but in case you can't, can I tell you that I think the heels on her chanclas (zapatos) [shoes] are see-through. Or maybe it's just the way the sun beams off man-made leather.

I wonder if the women in this photo noticed that the guy in the red was stealing their purses. Hmmm, well I guess they found out when he wasn't in the last frame they took and neither were their Wendy bags. Oh, you thought I meant Fendi? Yeah, okay.

Why Lord, Why?